Homesick After Moving Abroad: What Helps (First 90 Days)

The short answer: being homesick after moving abroad is a normal reaction to losing everything familiar at once, and it usually eases as the new place starts to feel familiar too. What helps most is a mix of three things: keeping a few small rituals from home, building new local anchors (a café, a weekly group, a walk) as fast as possible, and staying in touch with home on a schedule rather than all evening. If homesickness turns into persistent low mood, talk to a doctor or a support line early.

The first time I was properly homesick abroad, it was not on a big occasion. It was a Tuesday in week four, in a supermarket, when I could not find the brand of tea I had drunk every morning for fifteen years. I stood in the aisle feeling ridiculous and close to tears. It took me a while to understand that it was not about the tea. It was about everything being slightly unfamiliar, all the time, with no break. That constant low-level effort is what makes homesickness so tiring. The good news is that it is also what fades first, once a few things become routine. This guide walks you through what helps in each phase of your first three months.

Homesick or lonely? Why the difference matters

Homesickness and loneliness often arrive together, but they are not the same, and they respond to slightly different things.

• Homesickness is missing what you left: people, places, food, language, the feeling of knowing how everything works. It pulls your attention backwards.
• Loneliness is the gap between the connection you want and the connection you have here and now. It is about the present.

You can be homesick while surrounded by friendly people, because the place still feels foreign. And you can be lonely without being homesick, because you are happy to be here but have nobody to share it with. Most newcomers feel some of both. If loneliness is the bigger part for you, our week-by-week plan for when you feel lonely after moving abroad focuses on building new connections. This guide focuses on the homesick part: making the new place feel like home while staying connected to the old one.

Homesick after moving abroad: what it actually feels like

People describe it in many ways. Common ones include:

• Sudden waves of sadness triggered by small things: a song, a smell, a photo, a supermarket aisle.
• Constantly comparing: the bread, the bureaucracy, the weather, how people talk to you.
• Tiredness, because doing ordinary things in a new language and system takes effort.
• Checking what friends at home are doing and feeling left out.
• Daydreaming about moving back, even when you know you do not really want to.
• Irritation with the new country over things you would shrug off at home.

All of these are common. They do not mean the move was a mistake. They mean you are adjusting, and adjustment takes time. Many people find homesickness comes in waves rather than a straight line: a good week, then a dip around a birthday, a holiday or a bad day at work. The waves usually get smaller and further apart.

What helps, phase by phase

Weeks 1–2: make the basics familiar

In the first fortnight, everything is new and everything takes effort. Your aim is to make a few things familiar quickly, so you are not spending energy on every small decision.

• Set up your space. Unpack fully, even if the flat is temporary. Put up a photo, use your own mug, make the bed the way you like it. A room that feels like yours is an anchor.
• Find your “home” shops. A supermarket you know your way around, a bakery, a pharmacy. Familiarity with the boring things lowers the background stress.
• Keep your body clock steady. Regular sleep, daylight in the morning, some movement every day. Homesickness feels heavier when you are exhausted.
• Do one enjoyable new thing. A walk to a viewpoint, a museum, a park. Start building good memories in the new place.

Weeks 3–6: build local anchors

This is often when homesickness peaks, because the busy setting-up phase is over and the reality sinks in. Your aim is to build anchors: places and people you see regularly.

• A regular café or market. Go at the same time each week. Being recognised is a quiet antidote to feeling foreign.
• Two weekly groups. A language exchange, a sports club, a class, a choir or a volunteer team. Repetition builds familiarity with people, not just places. Our guide on how to make friends abroad shows how to choose them.
• A weekly walk or run on the same route. Learning one part of the city well makes the whole city feel smaller.
• Learn twenty useful phrases. Even basic language makes daily life less tiring and more human.

Weeks 7–12: create your own traditions

By now, some things should feel routine. Your aim is to create experiences that belong to this place and this life, so it becomes somewhere you have memories, not just somewhere you live.

• Start a small tradition. A Sunday market breakfast, a monthly day trip, a Friday dinner with two or three people from your group.
• Celebrate local occasions. Go to a neighbourhood festival or holiday event. Taking part in the local calendar makes you part of it.
• Host something. Cook a dish from home for new friends. It connects both worlds and gives people a reason to come.
• Plan a visit home, or a visit from home, with a date. Knowing when you will see people helps, and having visitors to show around reminds you how much you have learned.

Old rituals and new ones

A common piece of advice is to “let go” of home. I think that is wrong. Keeping a few rituals from home is comforting and healthy. The trick is to keep them small and to add new local ones alongside.

Food is especially powerful. Many cities have shops selling products from abroad, and a care package from home can be a lift. Just do not let the hunt for familiar brands become the only way you engage with your new city. The local market will eventually give you new favourites.

Calling home without staying stuck

Staying in touch with family and friends is important. But it is easy to slide into a pattern where every evening is spent on video calls or scrolling messages from home, which keeps your attention there and leaves no space for building a life here. Our guide to keeping friends back home sets out a calmer routine for staying close.

A healthier rhythm

• Schedule calls. One or two longer calls a week with the people closest to you, at a set time. You both look forward to them.
• Use voice notes and photos in between. They keep you connected without needing a whole evening.
• Share the new life, not just the struggles. Telling people about a good day or a new place helps you notice the good things too.
• Mute group chats during your social plans. You can catch up later.
• Be honest when it is hard. You do not have to pretend everything is perfect. People who love you would rather know.

Watch the social media trap

Seeing friends at home together at a party or a wedding you missed can sting. Remember that you are seeing highlights, not the whole picture. If scrolling makes you feel worse, try limiting it to a set time of day.

For a broader look at why people feel isolated after a move, our guide to expat loneliness explains the causes and what helps.

Difficult moments to plan for

Some dates and situations reliably bring homesickness back. Knowing them in advance means you can prepare something.

• Your birthday. Plan something small with whoever you know, even if it is two people from your language exchange. Do not wait to see if anyone remembers.
• Big holidays. Christmas, Eid, Diwali, Thanksgiving or your country’s national day. Look for other people from your country or other newcomers staying put, and organise a meal together.
• Family events you miss. Weddings, births, illnesses. Arrange to call during or after, send something, and be gentle with yourself that day.
• Bad days at work or with bureaucracy. These can make you want to give up. Talk it through with someone, sleep on it, and do not make big decisions in the moment.
• Winter. Shorter days can make everything heavier. Get daylight, keep moving and keep your weekly groups going.

Should I move back?

Almost everyone wonders this at some point. A useful rule: do not decide in the first three months, and never decide on a bad day. If after several months you have built routines and some connections and you still feel strongly that you want to go home, that is a legitimate choice, not a failure. Plenty of people move abroad, learn a lot and move back. For many others, the feeling passes once the new place becomes familiar. Our pillar guide to moving abroad alone covers the full first 90 days, including practical setup.

Getting support when homesickness gets heavy

Homesickness is normal, but if it slides into low mood that does not lift for weeks, with trouble sleeping, loss of interest in things you used to enjoy, or feelings of hopelessness, please reach out.

• A doctor. Registering with a local doctor early is useful anyway. They can talk with you about how you are feeling and point you to support, including in English in many cities.
• Support lines. In the UK and Ireland, Samaritans answer free on 116 123, 24 hours a day. In Germany, TelefonSeelsorge is free and available around the clock on 0800 111 0 111, 0800 111 0 222 or 116 123. Look up the equivalent service in your new country.
• Your employer or university. Many offer counselling or employee assistance programmes for new arrivals.
• In an emergency, call 112, the emergency number across the EU.

Your next step

Choose one thing from the phase you are in and do it this week. In weeks 1–2, put up a photo and find your supermarket. In weeks 3–6, sign up for one weekly group. In weeks 7–12, plan one small tradition with someone you have met. Familiarity is built one repeated thing at a time.

Want to turn this into an actual plan? MeetNow is a free app for meeting people in person: a host posts a plan at a public place, says who pays (host pays, split, pay your own or free) and picks who joins. It is live on the web and works in your browser, starting in Malta. The Android app is on Google Play; the iPhone app is not in the App Store yet. Open MeetNow and see the plans posted in Malta. (MeetNow is our own app.)

FAQ: homesick after moving abroad

Is it normal to feel homesick after moving abroad?

Yes. Missing people, places, food and the feeling of knowing how things work is a normal reaction to a big move. It does not mean the move was a mistake, and for most people it eases as the new place becomes familiar.

How long does homesickness last after moving abroad?

It varies from person to person. Many people find it comes in waves that get smaller over the first few months, especially once they have routines and a couple of weekly groups. Certain dates, such as birthdays and holidays, can bring it back temporarily.

What helps with homesickness abroad?

Keep a few small rituals from home, build local anchors such as a regular café and two weekly groups, schedule calls home instead of spending every evening on them, and create new traditions in your new city.

Should I call home less if I’m homesick?

Not necessarily less, but more deliberately. One or two scheduled calls a week plus voice notes keeps you connected while leaving room to build a life locally.

What is the difference between homesickness and loneliness?

Homesickness is missing what you left behind; loneliness is lacking the connection you want where you are now. They often come together, and both ease with routines and repeated contact with new people.

When should I get help for homesickness?

If it turns into low mood that lasts for weeks, affects sleep or appetite, or brings feelings of hopelessness, talk to a doctor or a support line. In an emergency, call 112.