The short answer: the best expat friendship tips are about rhythm, not luck. Join something that repeats, turn familiar faces into plans within a few weeks, mix expat and local friends, and expect goodbyes, because in expat life people leave. Friendships abroad often form faster than at home, but they also need more deliberate care to last. This guide covers the parts nobody warns you about, with messages you can copy.
The first time I moved abroad, I had a brilliant group of friends within three months. By the end of the second year, four of the six had left. I wasn’t prepared for that. The second time, I built my circle differently, and I’ve kept friendships going across four countries since. These are the tips I actually use.
How expat friendships are different
Expat friendships follow their own pattern. Knowing it in advance takes a lot of the sting out.
| At home | Abroad |
|---|---|
| Friendships grow slowly through school, work and family | Friendships can form in weeks because everyone needs company |
| Circles are stable for years | Circles change every year as people arrive and leave |
| Shared history does the work | Shared situation does the work at first |
| Plans happen naturally | Someone has to organise, or nothing happens |
| Friends of friends fill the gaps | You often start with nobody to introduce you |
None of this is bad. It just means expat friendships need a little more structure. If you’re wondering where you fit among the many kinds of expatriates, that guide is a good primer. If you’re still at the very beginning, start with our guide to finding your people abroad, then come back here.
Expat friendship tips for meeting people
1. Choose repeat over variety
Ten different events in a month feel busy but leave you with ten first conversations. Four visits to the same club leave you with people who know your name. Pick one or two weekly activities and stick with them for at least a month.
2. Go where people are also new
Language classes, newcomer meetups, coworking events and university groups are full of people who arrived recently and are open to new friends. That openness is your biggest advantage in the first year.
3. Say yes early
In the first months, accept almost every reasonable invitation: the colleague’s birthday drinks, the neighbour’s barbecue, the friend-of-a-friend’s quiz team. You can become pickier later.
4. Be the one who suggests a plan
Most people would happily come along but won’t organise. A specific invitation, with a day, a time and a place, solves this. “Coffee after class on Thursday?” works far better than “We should hang out sometime.”
Expat friendship tips for going deeper
Meeting people is the easy part. Moving from “nice to see you at the club” to “the person I’d call if my flat flooded” takes a few deliberate steps.
5. Move from groups to small plans
Big groups are good for meeting, small groups are good for knowing. Once you’ve met someone twice in a group, suggest something for two or three people: a market, a walk, a cheap dinner.
6. Create a standing plan
A standing plan is a regular slot that happens by default: Sunday brunch, a Wednesday quiz, a monthly dinner that rotates between flats. It removes the effort of organising every time, and it keeps people in touch through busy months.
7. Share the practical stuff
Expat life is full of small crises: residence paperwork, finding a doctor, a broken boiler. Asking for help, and offering it, builds trust quickly. Some of my closest friendships started with “Do you know how the tax registration works here?”
8. Host once
Inviting people to your place, even a tiny flat, signals that you want to be friends, not just acquaintances. It doesn’t need to be impressive. Our guide to hosting a dinner party to make friends has simple menus and invitation wording.
If you have a few people you like but it hasn’t quite clicked yet, our step-by-step guide to turning acquaintances into friends walks you through each stage.
Expat friendship tips for keeping your circle going
9. Mix expats and locals
A circle made only of other expats is fun but fragile, because its members keep leaving. Locals and long-term residents give your social life an anchor. You don’t need to choose; just make sure your weekly routine includes at least one activity where locals are the majority.
10. Don’t let one person carry the group
Many expat circles depend on a single organiser. When they leave, the group drifts. Share the organising: take turns choosing the place, rotate who hosts, keep a group chat where anyone can suggest a plan.
11. Welcome newcomers
The best way to keep a circle alive is to keep adding to it. When someone new arrives, bring them along. You remember how it felt to know nobody, and every newcomer you welcome makes the group more resilient.
12. Keep friends back home in the picture
Old friends still matter, especially on the hard days. A simple routine of regular calls keeps them close. Our guide on keeping friends back home covers how to do this without it becoming another chore.
Surviving the goodbyes
Goodbyes are the hardest part of expat friendship. Contracts end, partners get new jobs, people go home. Here’s what helps:
- Mark the leaving. A proper farewell dinner or a last walk together matters more than you’d think.
- Agree a rhythm before they go. A monthly call, a shared playlist or a group chat that stays active.
- Plan a visit. Put one trip in the diary within the first year, even if it’s a long weekend.
- Let the friendship change shape. It won’t be the same as weekly brunches, but many expat friendships last for decades at a distance.
- Restart quickly. After a big goodbye, go back to your weekly activities and say yes to new invitations within a couple of weeks. Grief and new beginnings can coexist.
Messages to copy
Specific beats vague. Change the details and send:
- Turning a familiar face into a plan: “We keep ending up at the same table at the exchange! Want to grab a coffee before it next week, say 6:30?”
- Starting a standing plan: “I’d love to make Sunday brunch a regular thing. Same place, 11am, whoever can make it. In?”
- Asking for practical help: “You’ve been here longer than me. Any tips for finding an English-speaking GP?”
- Welcoming a newcomer: “A few of us do a quiz on Wednesdays. Want to join? No pressure to be good at it.”
- Before a friend leaves: “I’m going to miss you. Can we set a monthly call before you go, so we don’t just drift?”
For first invitations in particular, our messages to invite someone to hang out cover every situation from colleagues to gym friends.
A four-week plan
| Week | Focus | Action |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Repeat | Choose one weekly activity and go. Learn two names. |
| 2 | Invite | Go again. Invite one person to a specific small plan. |
| 3 | Deepen | Suggest a standing plan to two or three people you like. |
| 4 | Host and widen | Host a simple dinner or picnic and ask each guest to bring someone new. |
Repeat the cycle each month. Over a year, it reliably builds a circle that can survive a few departures.
Want to turn this into an actual plan? MeetNow is a free app for meeting people in person: a host posts a plan at a public place, says who pays (host pays, split, pay your own or free) and picks who joins. It is live on the web now, starting in Malta: open MeetNow in your browser and see the plans posted in Malta. (MeetNow is our own app.)
A quick safety note: when you meet people you don’t know well yet, choose a public place, tell a friend where you’re going, sort your own way home and leave if anything feels off.
Frequently asked questions (FAQ)
Why do expat friendships feel so intense?
Expats are often in the same situation at the same time: new, open and short of company. That shared need speeds things up, so people can feel close within weeks. It is real friendship, but it still needs time and repeat contact to last.
How do I keep expat friends when they move away?
Agree a simple rhythm before they leave, such as a monthly call or a shared group chat, plan one visit within the first year, and accept that the friendship will change shape rather than end.
Is it better to have expat or local friends?
A mix works best. Expat friends are easier to make early and understand the move, while local friends are more likely to stay and help you feel at home. Build both through regular activities.
How often should I see a new friend abroad?
In the early weeks, seeing someone roughly once a week, even briefly, helps a new friendship take hold. A standing weekly plan, such as a run, class or quiz, does this without much effort.
What should I do if my expat circle falls apart?
Treat it as a normal part of expat life. Go back to the places where you met people the first time, say yes to new invitations, and host one small plan to restart a circle with whoever is still around.
